Ken Cannon

Akihabara, Tokyo Video Transcript

Akihabara - The Otaku Paradise

Hey ya’ll, been a while! I’m Ken Cannon, in case you forgot… you know it’s been a long time I understand.

And today, I here to teach you the top 5 thing to do in Akihabara!

Now you probably already know but it’s pretty much the otaku paradise, if you’re at all into Japanese anime or manga this is a place you must go. It is the number one place in the entire world for anime, manga or otaku. A mecca of otaku, everywhere you walk and literately everything you see in akihabara in plastered with otaku. Tm

Now Akiharaba actually means, field of autumn leaves… So I guess this means you should avoid akihabara in the autumn, because then it just becomes a prairie of compost...

Unless of course you are really into autumn leaves, you can’t get enough of autumn leaves, then yeah by all means.

Anyway, akihabara though, is actually almost always referred to as “akiba” by real Japanese people. Just a shortened version.

Now there is one more name akihabara carries, and that is akihabara denki gai, akihabara electric town. The reason for this is one that actually most people don’t know about. Before about 10 years ago or so akihabara actually was not the otaku paradise, but instead the electronic paradise. Now there’s a lot of electronic stores in akihabara, but today the whole place know much more for its anime ness...

Now mainly akihabara is place dedicated for shopping, or “kaimono” but since it’s really not your everyday average shopping, and there really is just so much there to do and see there, I put this little guide together for you.

So let’s started with the number one thing to do in Akihabara

Anime no kaimono!

Literately, anime shopping! Or as I like to call it buy everything anime!

(Pronunciation guide)

So this one should be pretty easy to understand, akihabara in literately the world center of anime and manga, therefore you can find buy almost any anime or manga ever produced! However that’s not even close to being all, there’s a reason why I said buy anime everything! And that’s because you can literately buy everything that anime here.

For example a tiny variety of what you’ll ill find in akihabara is

Anime drinks, anime, lamps, anime fans, toilets, cars, phones, anime anime, furniture, anime dogs, anime cats, underwear, anime people (blow up doll).


You sure like anime dolls huh?

Dolls?
Oh that’s a cute Pikachu dolls

It’s not a doll. Bottle opener...

Oh….

Hey do mind if I see that (….) doll

*RING* hello? Yeah ok bye…

You mean my phone?

Well what about that.

Well at least, that’s a cute poster…

Poster?

….that’s my bed…. Strange stare….

Now something I find quiet interesting is the whole anime doll phenomenon in akihabara. There are a growing number of stores where you can buy your own anime doll, and accessorize them. And it’s not that it’s weird because it’s not girls who are playing with them, but grown men…. And it’s defiantly not weird that walk around broad daylight with them as if they were there gf…. But it’s the fact that they come if changeable body parts!! You can not only disassemble their shirts hats and shoes, but now you can change their hands feet, and eyeballs! Eyeballs!!

*shudder*


Only in Japan…

In Japanese…

Hi can I have two eyes balls?

Ano, Medama futatsu onegaishimasu!

Hai, medama desu ne, aka to midori medama docchi ga yoroshi desu ka?

Aa, aka medama onegashimasu

Hai kashikomarimashita,

Arigatou gozaimasu!

Hai doumo Arigatou gozaimashita


Oh would you like the re ones or the green ones, oh the red ones please… yes no, problem, here you are, thank you very much!

In English….

Hi can I have two eyes balls?

Strange stare…..

Awkward stare

…The red ones please….

Now with all these anime, manga, and changeable body parts, the most logical question you’re probably asking yourself is… “Ok… where’s all the porn?”

And I’m here to tell you that, you shall definitely not be disappointed with akiba’s selection of dirty DVDs. Theres actually lots of it here… Lots and lots and LOTS!

And they are not your typical snuff...
And I don’t really want to go into too many details... Simply because I don’t want any more nightmares tonight… but it’s not exactly your typical “Hi I’m a plumber and I’m here clean your pipes” stuff, it’s more like, “Hi, I’m an alien with 75 arms, and I brought my own pipes.”


Alright! Moving on to number 2 thing to do in akihabara! And that is…

Game no kaimono


Or literally game shopping!

(Pronunciation guide)

Yet another super obvious one for the average otaku, not to mention being my favorite. But what’s interesting about game shopping in akihabara is that you can pretty much buy every game in Japan there. And if you don’t know there are literality no joke, thousands games produced in japan that never ever make it to English translation. And more being made every day! A lot of these are actually big name chains like dragon warrior and legend of Zelda and Mario. But there are also hundreds of Japanese games... Oh sorry, I mean weird games… haha always get those two words mixed up... Like, train your face! Where you can well, train your face…bartender DS, basically a guide to the various ways to get drunk. and boinga, boinga, a game where to go around poking various people in the boinga boinga … or anus.

Here’s a question for you… I wonder what it would look like if you played all three at the same time…..

(Stumble with bottle making funny faces)

Hm, not that different from normal….

Now in akihabara you can not only buy and play recent cool, never before seen and weird games. But also via an extremely famous retro gaming store, appropriately named, super potato. You can actually buy virtually every single game produced in the history of games. All the way from the original famicon, up to the ps3.

Now you will have to be able to speak Japanese to play most of these games, but here translation scripts can come in handy, and for games like boinga boinga, do you really need to speak the language in order to play.

So with all that said, again, I know I hear you. You must be asking yourself “where’s the porn?”

Well Akiba definitely had you covered there once again. There’s something that is called on dating sim, also called an “adventure game” in Japanese. *wink wink*

Where the goal is basically to woo the anime women into sleeping with you. Now depending on the game there many different ways to do this, but they generally vary from the typical, buying her flowers, throwing soccer balls at here, and even holding her bully at knife point!

So fellows, if you’re having any trouble getting women, you can definitely sharpen your skills, with these bad boys… or your knifes?

Scrapping knife…

What are you doing?

Nani yatte n dayo

Going out the pickup chicks tonight.
Scared stare…

Nanpa no junbi da yo

Want to come?

Isshou ni iku?

No no no… I’m good...


Iya… passu


You sure? I’ve got a spare soccer ball you can use…

sou? Sakka- bo-ru no supea ga arun dakedo na~